The Game

The name of this blog is inspired by the children’s game: “The First One to Look Away Loses.” Children play this game to establish dominance. They face each other while talking, and try to get the other to look away – signifying submission. Some children develop strategies to ‘win’ such as staring intently into the eyes. But of course, this is just a cheat and will only serve to stigmatize the child for life. People who do this should be identified so they are aware of this behavior. Even if you can’t change it, at least it can explain your social isolation and rejection. You can stop asking everyone, “What’s wrong with me?”

Staring contest

Some children play the game once and lose and never try again.

This blog explores the connection between eye contact and autism. Most people think autism impairs eye contact. But the simple fact is that impaired eye contact (usually caused by bullying or simply lack of early education) causes the symptoms typically associated with autism.

Eye contact is critical. If you don’t do it, people will reject and bully you. This is as true in high school as in the real world. The result is mental illness, schizophrenia, addiction, autism, crime, suicide and a host of other scourges. Yet if you don’t make eye contact, no one will ever tell you. It’s a massive conspiracy. But the purpose isn’t to protect your feelings. It’s to instigate you to violence or self-destruction, thereby feeding the mental illness industry.

The best way to prevent this problem is early childhood education: gently but firmly remind the child to look at people when communicating. A child should never be forced – this is abuse. A child should never be singled out for ‘treatment’ – this is stigmatizing.

Adults with impaired eye contact will experience bullying, but they often don’t report it because it’s traumatizing and humiliating. It’s easier to pretend it’s not happening. They will then engage in various forms of ‘crazy’ behavior: this telegraphs to people to stay away, and it’s a more palatable explanation for rejection than thinking you just have some fundamental flaw.

Autistic people may deny the importance of eye contact, or insist (and believe) they are doing it even though they’re obviously not. But eye contact is useful and necessary.

After adults are diagnosed with autism, is it too late for them? Fortunately there still is hope. I believe we are on the verge of a new world, in which autistic people will play a critical role.